Hench for Hire Page 2

  "Would you people stop shooting me? It isn't helping," Jules snapped.

  The goo had quickly gone to covering about eighty percent of Jules and was creeping its way towards her face.

  "It isn't eating you or I couldn't have hurt you," I said. "Leave it."

  Niles had lined up for a second shot and he gave my drone a dubious look before shrugging.

  Jules didn't look happy about it. Fortunately I didn't have to see her expression for long. A few seconds later it was obscured in a layer of black.

  The look she sported now was more mannequin than human, all shiny black and glossy like she'd stepped out of a department store window, or a fetish catalog.

  "So are we just waiting for her to suffocate or ...?" Niles asked.

  It was a fair question. I had my suspicions and I expected things to happen rather fast.

  I said, "If she suffocates, we'll see her in a few days—she's insured. Let's just wait to see how this plays out."

  It took another forty-five seconds before the material covering Jules' face peeled back and she gasped a ragged breath. All over her body the material was rippling, changing, the colors warping and the black layer becoming clothing, an exact copy of what she'd worn before.

  Jules took a moment to glare at my drone before looking down at herself, fingers touching the material of her new skirt, rubbing it.

  "Some kind of smart suit?" Jules asked.

  "It must have needed to do some sort of pairing process. It probably sought out the highest-powered individual in range," Niles said, excited. "Let's get you back home and out of those clothes."

  Jules said, commanding, "Change outfit. Formal red dress."

  The outfit rippled again and changed into a red dress, complete with jewelry, heels, and matching handbag.

  "Not exactly in style, but I bet I can train it," Jules said.

  "It isn't a pet. I don't think it's a pet," Niles said.

  I said, "Whatever it is, we want to learn to make more of it. You two share until you figure out how."

  We'd have to send in henchman to claim any more equipment, and to capture the spiders. This floor would do for either a scientist or someone obsessed with fashion. I was more tempted by the latter. Starting our own line would work for us and the right tenant could help with that.

  3

  By the next day Niles had figured out how to get a sample of the goo, although it seemed loathe to leave Jules. It wasn't the worst problem we'd ever dealt with.

  That meant another meeting around the conference table.

  "Have we got anything out of the troopers we captured yet?" I asked.

  "We have henchmen waiting in case they decide to talk. So far nothing. Another day and they'll start to get real thirsty," Jules said.

  It didn't help when you needed to rob something soon. The real estate business was good with a steady and reliable income that was valuable, but the big money came from crime. What we could steal, what we could sell, and what we could loot from those who came back to strike at us.

  "We need a score, and if it isn't going to be Voltara, it must be someone else. Any of our tenants have an arch nemesis with something worth taking?" I asked.

  "Partygurl does," Jules said.

  Partygurl was our first tenant, and she rather enjoyed the psychoactive fungus that filled the lair we'd built for her. It was a surprise to hear this. Partygurl was still in college and she wasn't hitting many big targets yet.

  "Ox," Ox said. "Does the melodious student have a transport of kegs that needs liberating? When it comes to feats of tremendous strength and lifting, none can compare with our wiles."

  I got the joke even through the rough translation.

  Jules said, "Something like that. Our old friends the CCC are getting themselves a new base after we destroyed the one they had under the campus library. The dedication ceremony is going to have a lot of notable heroes in attendance."

  A lot of notable heroes meant a lot of power being thrown around. And plenty of publicity. We'd made money before off videos of our fights. Publicly shaming the heroes of New Londonarium would be good for a lot of views, plus whatever we managed to lift, but the return wasn't that tempting. And, of course, we might not win the fight.

  "Great for publicity, but not for the bankroll," I said.

  "I was hoping we might be able to steal the base itself. It's a hover cruiser like a lot of the big hero teams use. You know they're all rich kids, and it looks like someone pulled some strings," Jules said.

  That was tempting. Hover cruisers weren't much of a thing on the villain side, at least not in Mastermind territory. He kept the skies mostly clear, but Mastermind himself would be a buyer. Like most villains, he had no problems breaking his own rules.

  "I've got an alternative, if you losers want to hear it," Uma said, hopping up on the table, the teddy-bear stalking around.

  I didn't like the breach of meeting etiquette, but I always appreciated ideas.

  "Go right ahead," I said.

  "He's not one of our tenants, but Toymaker made this stupid, furry body I'm in. Now, it just so happens that Funmachine is getting a toy of the year award for his Kaboom Kids line," Uma said. "Toymaker's going to hate that."

  I looked it up. Kaboom Kids were billed as companions for your children, each one with a built-in bomb that triggered in the event of loud screaming. It made sense. Life insurance was cheap on children, they were tiny to resurrect, and super-villains were terrible parents.

  "I'm not seeing the opportunity," I said.

  "It's being held at Funmachine's base, normally a highly secure zone of murderous toys. Tours all day, downed defenses ..." Uma said.

  "And you get a chance to impress Toymaker, the one person capable of transferring you to a new body," Jules said.

  "Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game. My idea is way better than beating up on some college kids. Besides, he is tight with Mastermind."

  Being a minion of wasn't being 'tight' with Mastermind. I would know. Still, it was a chance to steal inventory, prototypes, and research. However it was all outside of our zone. Funmachine was in Delerium's turf, another S-Class villain, and that required getting an expensive permit to strike at him.

  "We'll put that as a firm maybe. Anyone else have anything to contribute?" I asked.

  "I've got something. It's one of those opportunistic things. WICKED is going to be doing a public test and exhibition of the new combat mecha. Really big news, and a lot of the big hero groups have already indicated they're going to try to prove it's not so hot," Niles said.

  I thought that I knew where Niles was going with this. Stealing the mecha for ourselves and upping our defense capabilities for hire. Everybody needed a helping hand sometime, even villains. When henchmen just wouldn't do, you hired someone or something else. It was one way to get a paycheck, but it wasn't a large one.

  "We're not pulling guard shifts," I said.

  "I wasn't thinking of that. More seizing the opportunity it creates. STRONG and WICKED hate each other, I mean hate. I'm expecting STRONG to go all-in and if they're deep in villain territory, it means they'll leave a skeleton crew at home," Niles said.

  STRONG were allies of the CCC, although really there was no comparison between the two. The CCC was a bunch of rich college kids getting their training in. STRONG was a major hero organization with several A-Class heroes in their ranks. We were already on each other's bad sides and there seemed little danger to pissing them off even further.

  I said, "I like that thought. They have a lot worth taking, and anyone they sent after us would have quality equipment. What STRONG facilities are worth hitting?"

  The team was already on it, Jules' fingers flying over a keyboard. Uma was slumping unhappily on the table, although I could feel the data channel pouring into her as she accessed systems.

  Uma said, "You know what I'm going to say, or you should, if you don't need a memory upgrade. A long time ago I was sent to get a dimensional crystal from ST
RONG, because Disaster wanted it—and she still does."

  Disaster was an S-Class villain and could pay extremely well. Disaster was also a complete mental case and prone to disintegrating her friends as well as her enemies.

  "I remember. You said that was in STRONG's secure archives," I said.

  Niles pulled up a holographic display of a skyscraper of sculpted glass.

  He said, "Floor seventeen, according to reports. It's where they keep things that they don't want out in the public, but that haven't proved scary enough to rate a separate facility for dangerous artifacts."

  "Secure, but not that secure. A definite maybe," I said.

  "Here is another," Jules said, sending a hologram to knock his out of the way. It showed a very normal-looking three story office building. "This is STRONG's accounting facility. I know, boring, but apart from providing access to some of their active accounts, it would have payroll information on anyone they work with. That sort of thing could sell for a lot to the right buyer, and the risk is low."

  An almost guaranteed low risk was a mixed blessing. Success almost ensured a response, and ideally you turned a profit on both the initial strike and their retaliation. However, STRONG would never forgive even a minor strike. Something serious would be sent to hit us back, although they might use one of their minor league affiliates like the CCC.

  "Ox," Ox said. "You think like little termites instead of giant manly men and women—and stuffed bears of indeterminate gender. They are on the cutting edge and so could be we."

  "I am not of indeterminate gender," Uma said. "Girl power! Don't hold it against me for Toymaker not being a perv."

  A third hologram joined those spinning around. This time a fenced-in compound on the outskirts of New Londonarium.

  Jules said, "STRONG's primary research lab. My idea is safer, but Ox has a point. I doubt they're ever leaving this place undefended, and the research we could steal would be valuable to us and others."

  Niles said, "Too much for us alone though, even if some of them are drawn off to the ceremony. We'd need to do a team-up."

  Villain team-ups were risky. If you wanted crazy, unreliable, and the risk of somebody stabbing you in the back, then super-villains were your new best friends.

  "I'm leaning towards the middle option," I said.

  "That would be their headquarters and the crystal then," Jules said. "Incredible defenses on the top and bottom floors. Even if all their A-Class deploy they're still likely to have at least one B-Class on guard duty."

  I knew where she was going with that. Jules hyped up on ambrosia wasn't a one-on-one match for a B-Class, but she was smart and sometimes that evened the odds. At the very least she'd provide a distraction.

  "I'll check the auctions and see what we can find. We'll also need transport," I said.

  Everyone accepted tasks and the meeting broke up. We were about to hit a major hero organization, and it felt good.

  4

  Before we got to rob anything, an invitation came to visit Mastermind Tower. An 'invitation' from Mastermind was, of course, anything but. Even if we weren't now a subsidiary, Mastermind was still an S-Class villain and the ruler of our little island, and not to be ignored.

  "I don't know why I had to come," Jules groused, her pencil skirt flickering between red and black.

  The nanomachine outfit was proving to be something of a mood ring. I wasn't sure yet if I should consider that a flaw or a feature.

  "He requested you," I said.

  The main lobby was filled with supers of various sorts. Mastermind Tower was the center of the city's bureaucracy, and if there was one thing that Mastermind loved it was paperwork and keeping everything orderly.

  Just because we had an invitation didn't mean we avoided waiting, although at least we had a private room separated by glass walls from the main lobby. There was a coffee machine too, which didn't mean much to me, but Jules seemed to appreciate it.

  "I bet he wants to shoot me again. That would be just like Mastermind, book an appointment to shoot someone," Jules said, another flash of red flickering across her outfit.

  I said, "I'm pretty sure he has people that usually do that for him. The first time was a special occasion."

  A chime beeped and speaker announced, "You may proceed to Elevator Seven."

  It was a nice elevator and we went up for a really long time. When the doors slid aside they opened onto a small gym. Mastermind stood near a bank of windows, sweaty and in gym clothes. Mastermind was never alone, and nearby were a few obvious bodyguards, personal assistants, and at least one heavily muscled woman who was probably a personal trainer.

  "I think I overdressed," Jules said.

  Mastermind said smoothly, "Walter, Miss Morgan. I hope I didn't keep you too long. No, on second thoughts, I don't care. Come in, come in. I needed to speak with you both. I'm going to need you to do me a little favor."

  This was another of those situations where he said one thing and meant something else entirely. One didn't do favors for Mastermind, you followed orders.

  "Or you'll shoot me again, I imagine," Jules said.

  Mastermind smiled brightly. "Oh no, I'd do much worse a second time around. The fascinating thing about superhuman intellect is just how thoroughly you can make someone hurt, if you put your mind to it."

  Jules tried to look impassive, but her dress flickered yellow with fear.

  "That is new," Mastermind said.

  "Emotionally reactive nanotech clothing," I said.

  "I'll take two dozen for my assistants," Mastermind said.

  We hadn't even figured out how it worked yet, much less if it was a process we could duplicate. Still, again, Mastermind didn't make requests.

  "We'll send them over when they're ready. We believe they require a powered to bond," I said.

  "Not a problem, all of my assistants require low-level superhuman intelligence at a very minimum. Otherwise it is just so difficult to hold conversations," Mastermind said, turning to face us.

  "Is this about Voltara?"

  It was my best guess. There was little enough that concerned a man like Mastermind. Still, another S-Class villain must be among them.

  Mastermind frowned. "No, I want to be kept in the loop about what you discover, of course. However, Voltara is not what you would call ambitious, for all that she is powerful. She wishes to do her research where none can stop her."

  "Any idea why she came after my stupidly named tenant?"

  "No," Mastermind said, as if the words pained him. "Although his power potential is higher than his unfortunate name would let on. I did not call you here about Voltara. I understand that you are going to be moving against STRONG in the next few days."

  Of course, he knew. Even if he didn't have backdoors into all of our systems we'd filed the job with him already.

  "There is a good opportunity there and we were planning to capitalize on it," I said.

  "While you're in New Londonarium I am going to need you to do a little side job for me. It will also involve STRONG Tower, so you'll also be able to case that floor first too," Mastermind said.

  "The wedding reception," Jules said.

  It took a moment to know what she was talking about.

  Mastermind frowned again. "Quite so. My daughter is getting married in the same tower. However, by the time your strike hits, she'll be on her honeymoon. Still, I don't need to give you my usual speech about how, if you somehow harm her, I dismantle you."

  We'd gotten in trouble once before for stealing a wedding ring Mastermind had intended to gift to his daughter. Unlike him, she was on the hero side of things fighting under the name of Glitterdust. I hadn't known she was a member of STRONG.

  "You want us to blow up her wedding reception?" I asked.

  Mastermind gave my drone a long look. "Not an entirely unreasonable hypothesis I suppose, but no. For all that I keep my distance from my daughter, I wish her happiness. Before you strike your intended target, I want you take her a wedding
present from me."

  An assistant stepped forward bearing an elegantly carved wooden case and opened it up. Within, a pair of wings shimmered with energy. It was as if someone, somehow, had sprinkled rainbow sparkles through reality itself.

  Wings of the Crystal Dragon

  Unique

  Estimated value 1,080,000,00

  Not the actual wings of a crystal dragon, these wings were instead the creation of master artificer Fiona Wilnok. Upon being worn they permanently bond with the wearer until death, granting them sustained flight, magical aptitude, and a minor enhancement to any existing powersets.

  Well, these were a sharp reminder of just how much I barely belonged in Mastermind's world. The net worth of our entire company didn't come anywhere close to this.

  Items that could enhance powers were rare. Obviously, ones that could make you look good while doing so were exceedingly rare.

  "I'd be scared to even carry these things around with us," I said.

  "The case will be magically sealed so only she can open it and, rest assured, if you encounter any trouble they'll have to deal with me," Mastermind said.

  "You really love her," Jules said, and couldn't quite keep the surprise out of her voice.

  "Of course I do. I realize that our being on different sides of the ocean channel might create a misunderstanding that we are at odds," Mastermind said.

  "And explains the fact that you aren't attending her wedding," Jules said.

  I said, "I can't imagine an S-Class villain can just wander in the front doors. Can we wander in the front doors?"

  "You may, I'll arrange it. While my daughter has little desire to see me, it doesn't mean she has no interest in receiving the gifts I can give. As for you, STRONG will in no way deem you a threat. Something, I trust, that you will make them regret soon enough," Mastermind said.

  I was already thinking of the possibilities of what we might be able to accomplish with some free time inside the tower.

  "How on our best behavior do we have to be?" I asked.