Hench for Hire Read online

  The man was just as sparkly. Altogether it hurt my visual sensors to look at them.

  The Kissing Clone

  Registered Hero

  S.T.R.O.N.G.

  Supernatural

  Power Level: Variable

  Abilities: Power Vampirism

  Background: Wentworth Smith is better known as the Kissing Clone. When making lip-to-lip contact with another super he is able to clone their powerset for the next twenty-four hours. This doesn't weaken the powerset of the original in any way. Once one hero is copied, Wentworth Smith is not able to copy another until the first has been exhausted.

  Currently the clone must be copying Glimmerdust's powers, which made sense with them being engaged. They probably did a lot of kissing—humans did that sort of thing if you let them.

  I'd never even known Mastermind's last name. This was a wealth of knowledge.

  "Congratulations," Jules said with a forced smile. "You must be Glimmerdust."

  "You must be the disposable, villainous peons my dad sent with some lame gift for me," Glimmerdust said with a sigh.

  "I think I destroyed their base once," Ultimatum said. "Didn't I? It was like really pathetic. Why do I even bother to go slumming? I'm always disappointed."

  "I'm Jules. This is Niles, Uma, Ox, and Walter," Jules said.

  "Still don't care. Well, the teddy-bear is sort of cute. Get to the gifting and get the fuck out," Glimmerdust said.

  I didn't like her very much.

  "Babe, be nice, they came a long way," Wentworth said. "I'm Wentworth, I'm her fiancée."

  "They crossed the stupid channel and they are probably just here to rob someone lame anyways," Glimmerdust said with another sigh. "My dad is good at bullying people. Gift, now."

  I still didn't like her very much.

  Jules was forcing a smile too as she opened the box to display the wings.

  Glimmerdust took one look and rolled her eyes. "Ugh. What does he think I am, twelve? Leave them on the gift table and get out before we stop pretending we're supposed to play nice."

  "I say we just break their bones and toss them in a cell," Ultimatum said, rolling his shoulders.

  I sent targeting telemetry on a private channel to Niles. I hoped he'd understand.

  "Try it," Niles said, armor clanking as he stepped forward.

  Ultimatum swung a punch.

  I didn't see anything from when time froze, and neither did anyone else. Niles dodged, his responding shot went 'awry'—and Yesterday fell backwards with a neat hole burned through her chest. Our time-travelling problem was solved.

  Bouncy stepped forward and shouted, "Enough! They are here under a diplomatic visa. We're leaving now. Walter, you were provoked but this ends now. Get your people under control."

  "You think we're letting this go?" Magnolia asked, thorns rippling into place along her skin.

  "Unless you want problems with the Council, that is exactly what you're doing," Bouncy said.

  "We're going," I said.

  Jules carefully set the wings in their box down and we backed towards the elevator.

  7

  "I'm really sorry for all this," Bouncy said for the twentieth time.

  We were picking up the supplies we'd left, preparing to make our exit from the accommodations.

  I'd meant to take more time with my recruitment effort, but it was obvious I wasn't going to have much chance. Still, if I wanted something that might break Bouncy from her routine I had it.

  "Is this really what you want to do with the rest of your life? Keep apologizing for a bunch of people who have zero appreciation for you or what you can do?" I asked.

  Bouncy gave a wry smile, her hands wringing as she looked stressed. "Of course not, but this was an anomaly."

  "Was it?"

  I didn't know that it wasn't, but I could make a good guess based on what I'd seen. STRONG hadn't seemed like we'd caught everyone on a bad day—it was a good day, and they were just jerks.

  "No," Bouncy admitted and I could hear her resignation. "But it isn't like things are any better on the other side."

  Jules said, "You'd be surprised. Mastermind keeps a tight ship. Yes, everyone might be out for themselves, but when it comes to walking the line, you do or you get shown the door."

  Or shot in the gut, more often shot in the gut. Still, I appreciated Jules' attempt to help.

  "Just think about it. If you get tired of playing nice and obedient over here and want to at least try for a better life, we'd be interested in having you," I said.

  I didn't expect the pitch to work now. Maybe in a few months we'd get a reply. Still, Bouncy proved she could surprise me.

  "I'm interested," Bouncy said.

  "How do we know she isn't lying?" Niles asked, as he slung a bag over one shoulder.

  "Because she doesn't have to lie. You've been there, on the bottom being kicked around by everyone who thinks they are higher and mightier than you are," Jules said, giving Niles a sharp look.

  They both had. Without his suit Niles was unpowered in a city full of super-villains. Jules had powers, but before I'd hired her she'd only been a minor cog in Mastermind's bureaucracy.

  Bouncy said, pacing in agitation "You're right. It's like I'm in a little rowboat taking on water and I am just bailing it out one bucket at a time. Sure, the boat isn't sinking, but nobody is patching the hole either. Nobody is even appreciating what I do, not really." She took a deep breath and announced, "I'm in."

  I said, "No more talking here. I still don't trust that we're completely unmonitored, particularly after today. We'll go over a plan we're working on once we get somewhere else."

  That somewhere else was an abandoned underground facility that had once been a maintenance bay for military tanks. Old Londonarium was filled with places like this, leftover artifacts from wars and rebellions past, and here on the other side of the channel what few super-villains there were lived quite literally underground.

  The bunker was owned by Robotic Walrus, an unfortunate name for a friendly and portly fellow with technopathy, and who rented out the space to visiting villains.

  It wasn't as nice as our base back home, or as nice as your typical Airlair, but it wasn't terrible. A full machine shop that Niles could get some use out of, a basic connection to Heronet which was the local alternative to Villainet, along with cots and storage trunks that could accommodate twenty guests. We didn't have that many, of course, and it gave us some space.

  It wasn't long until we were gathered around an old, scratched steel conference table that had seen a lot of use in the past.

  "First of all, good job today, people. Great job taking out Yesterday, Niles," I said, parking my drone in the air above the middle of the table.

  "I'm just glad we got out of there without them smashing us all. That would have completely ruined our plans," Niles said.

  "Did any of you have an opportunity to get anything done while we were there?"

  Uma said, "I got infiltration into a few systems. They're good, I mean really good, so I didn't try to go too deep. If we have to, I can control the elevators and maybe the window alarm systems."

  That was good. Both might come in handy. Uma could be irritating, but she was very good at what she did.

  "I managed to plant some micro-explosives. I noticed they had some rigged near the windows, I think so they can quickly depressurize in case of an emergency," Niles said.

  "Wow, you guys are really sneaky," Bouncy said.

  "This where you give us a lecture?" Niles asked.

  "Nah, I mean I'd have been pretty upset if I had caught you at it, but if you sneaked one past both me and STRONG I'm just impressed. Especially since I'm now on your team," Bouncy said.

  "I didn't get a chance to do anything except have a look around. They're good and I really want to smash their faces in," Jules said.

  "Ox," Ox said. "As the grand lady presents! They mocked and derided us at such an august and delirious occasion. Where, then, shall we h
ave our comeuppance?"

  Bouncy winced. "Uh ... there are some pretty good translation software packages on this side of the divide if you need one."

  "I doubt they're better than this one. It's from Emmasoft. Whatever is going on inside Ox, it's really tough to get past," Niles said.

  Ox originally hadn't been able to communicate at all— a side-effect of his superpower and not a helpful one. That Emmasoft had been able to provide a solution at all spoke of their technical prowess. I didn't like the translations either. I wasn't hopeful we'd be able to find anything better.

  I said, "I've already decided I want to hit them harder than the minimum. I was cautious what their response would be. Now we'll just figure out a way to make it work. Ideas for how we can make them bleed."

  "We empty out the secure archives to start with. Steal more than just the dimensional crystal," Niles said.

  I appreciated more theft as a solution to problems.

  "Our exit is going to be a teleportation portal. Once I send the signal, they'll keep it open for sixty seconds. We need to get everything we can and get out before that times out," I said.

  "STRONG has a containment facility beneath the tower. You want to really piss them off, break some of their prisoners out," Bouncy said.

  "The elevators go to it. They serve as prison capsules. Do you think you can infiltrate and free them?" I asked Uma.

  "Absolutely. Can you make sure I escape after doing it?"

  Uma was software like I was, her consciousness bound to the teddy-bear body. No resurrection tech for her, although if the bear got destroyed Uma's focus would hopefully return to the mainframe that housed her programming.

  "I'll go with her. My technical skills will be useful and if we need to get back to you in a hurry my time abilities will help," Niles said.

  That took two people away from our main task. It was worth doing if it pissed STRONG off. I really, really, hadn't liked them.

  "Any chance of us just blowing the whole thing up?" I asked.

  "They fended off Disaster once. If she isn't taking that building down, you aren't going to," Uma said.

  Uma would know. Disaster had originally made Uma specifically to steal the crystal that we were going after.

  "I agree. STRONG didn't just get that name because they like the acronym—well, they did, but you know what I mean," Bouncy said.

  "What about you? Your specialty is environmental damage. You willing to go to work this soon?" I asked.

  Bouncy hesitated. I suppose it was one thing from agreeing to work with us, and another to making it a reality.

  "I can be involved—do something, but I'm not taking down that building," Bouncy said.

  "There is an archive room on the same floor as the secure vault. Crystalline data storage, probably ten years worth of irreplaceable records," Jules said.

  "Will it hurt them?" I asked her.

  "Not today, but data is everything. You should know that, if anyone does. One day they'll regret not having what's in those files. I know it's a bit abstract, as far as messing with your enemy goes."

  It was, and it was a little bit of an extra kick too, which was something.

  "We'll do it," I decided. "Bouncy will need to be with us for our escape. We'll hit them in fourteen hours. Get some rest, get your gear ready, and get ready to make some profit."

  8

  It was late afternoon and time to hit STRONG Tower. The weapon exhibition was just getting underway over on Mastermind Isle and the tower should be almost undefended.

  I waited until the first reports came in from the island. The big names were there fighting mechs, including Glimmerdust, which was good—Mastermind had made it abundantly clear he wouldn't be forgiving if we injured his daughter in our escapades. I also noted Glimmerdust sporting a new pair of wings.

  While Glimmerdust might have mocked her father’s gift, clearly she had liked them. No surprise, Mastermind was one of the smartest human beings alive. I bet he usually gave great presents, although I wouldn't know good from bad.

  We'd brought several backup drones for me. Niles had used the machine shop overnight to fuse several of them together and create a hover platform. We parked a rented van outside of STRONG Tower and everyone climbed aboard. I didn't need it, my drone could fly by itself, of course.

  Everyone was wearing coveralls and carrying cleaning equipment. We wanted to look like window washers. Even if STRONG wasn't here, this city was filled with heroes just looking for a crime.

  The platform carried our team up the outside of the building to the seventeenth floor. The window pane here was a deep blue and the inside of the hallway beyond could barely be seen.

  Niles raised one of his mechanical arms and a plasma torch came to life.

  "We're ready. Niles, Uma, do your thing," I said.

  This was the first part our plan. Up there somewhere on the eightieth floor was where we'd been the day before, the hall in which the reception had been held. It was there that Niles had planted his micro-explosives along the windows.

  They went off. The explosions disrupted the force shields and even from this distance the sound of shattering glass was faintly heard coming from above.

  Then it was Uma's turn. This part of the plan wasn't as visible and she was performing two tasks. Triggering all of the window alarms on the eightieth floor while simultaneously neutralizing them on the seventeenth.

  STRONG Tower now clearly had a break in, but all the internal sensors should be reporting that it was happening far, far above and away from our team.

  Niles moved the plasma touch to the window. Beneath the onslaught the forcefield was quickly overloaded and the glass pane turned to melted slag. We had an entry point.

  Niles turned off the torch and scooped Uma under one arm. In an instant the pair of them appeared to vanish, although I knew that he had just frozen time and moved.

  If all went well Uma was now inside and had reached out to touch the camera system. Being bound to the bear body she required physical contact to infiltrate a system, and these cameras would be the most secure in the building.

  Whether it had worked or not, our plan was on. Niles and Uma would already be headed for an elevator bank and instigating the jailbreak part of the plan. We couldn't check—we weren't even trying to use our comm systems in STRONG Tower. They had far too many blockers set up.

  I started a timer. Fifteen minutes.

  "We're executing," I said.

  Jules jumped through the window first, slipped off her workman outfit and tossed it on the floor. Beneath was her full warrior princess garb along with a bow which she was already aiming down the hall.

  "Clear," Jules said.

  The rest of us came through.

  Together my drone, Jules, Ox, and Bouncy made our way through the halls. Fortunately there weren't many people expected on this floor. It wasn't an administrative area. Still, we might hit a security patrol.

  Jules led the way down a series of carpeted corridors.

  The entrance to the secure archives didn't look like much on the outside—a simple door like any of the others with a card reader beside it. Ox charged it with a shoulder and sent the door crashing inward.

  Beyond was a small corridor with a far more imposing-looking door at the end.

  This one had what looked to be a mix of a card scanner and a passkey entry system. We wouldn't be hacking anything, of course. Everyone stood back while Ox readied himself and he charged at the door. The first hit did little more than shake the walls and dent the metal. He stepped back and prepared to do it all over again. This could take awhile.

  "This seems pretty easy so far. It is always this easy?" Bouncy asked.

  "We just triggered every security alarm in the place. It will get exciting soon," Jules said. "Come on. Let me show you to your room. Do what damage you can in eight minutes then make your way back to us."

  Bouncy nodded rapidly, hopping up and down on the soles of her feet as her complexion took on a yello
w, rubber sheen. Then her body, clothes and all, seemed to fold in until there was simply a small yellow ball bouncing where a young woman had stood only moments before.

  Jules headed out into the hall, the ball bouncing happily behind her.

  Bouncy must be excited about finally getting to let loose with her powers.

  Ox was still cutting loose with his, and a second impact had resulted in a tortured groan from the door but it was holding steady. He lined up for a third shot.

  From down the hall I heard the sound of an explosion. It was followed a second later by machine gun fire. That didn't last long, replaced by a lot of surprised screaming.

  Jules returned, looking rather bemused.

  "Guards?" I asked.

  "Three. Bouncy handled them. Girl has talent, you've an eye for it."

  "I've got an eye for everything business-related. It is why you work for me," I said.

  Ox charged again and this time the hinges finally gave way and the massive metal slab collapsed inward with a sharp clang.

  The room was brightly lit revealing rows of shelves, one after another, all with bins neatly labeled.

  I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't something this dull—or big.

  "How are we going to find our target in all this?" I asked.

  "They'll have a hardcopy backup in case the network goes down. Ah ... here ..." Jules said, as she pulled a thick binder from a mount in the wall and started to flip through it. "Filing systems are what I'm good at. Okay, everything is sorted by the villain associated with it. So Disaster ..."

  "We don't know if she ever had possession of the crystal," I said.

  "No, but she wants it. Trust me, if it is at all associated with an S-Class villain they'll file it that way. Got it," Jules said, before quickly glancing over the shelves.

  My sensors picked up movement in the hall outside. Guards, and more than three this time.

  "Ox, we need you in the hall. Take care of them quickly," I said.